To:  Fast food and restaurant corporations & owners

Why are mustard lovers discriminated against? Why do your restaurants have jugs of ketchup and little paper containers for people to pump ketchup to their heart’s content, while we are left to beg for one or two precious mustard packets?

Why do your employees look at us like we are from another planet when we ask for some mustard? A ketchup user will be rewarded with a snappy “Yes sir!” and handfuls of ketchup in answer to their request. Mustard lovers will be forced to plead their case and then be told that the restaurant does not have mustard (even though it is on our burgers!) Give us some mustard and not that crappy wannabe honey-dijon dipping sauce for those mediocre chicken scraps!

Is there a good reason why, when your establishments do have mustard – that the mustard packet is half the size of a ketchup packet? Again, we are forced to explain that, “we seem to have more than one burger & fries on this tray – there are more people in our party that enjoy mustard, so perhaps you could see fit to provide maybe 3 or 4 or 10! & NO we don’t want any ketchup!”

Ketchup / catsup users can't even decide what to call themselves. Now they're even turning it green! GREEN with envy over mustard, I say.

Ketchup users throw FULL packets of their beloved fructose and vinegar gunk in the trash! You will never find a mustard lover wasting mustard…NEVER. We work too hard to get that packet and appreciate our condiment too much to waste it.

From now on, when a customer asks for mustard, instruct your cashiers to smile and ask, “how many would you like?” Don’t just give us one – the packets are SMALL!

Never fear, we will not walk around and pass them out to other diners. We will consume them in earnest. We know this is a change to your business. We know that this policy adoption will be slow and hard fought within your establishments. We will endure as we always have. We even have volunteer mustard lovers mixing mustard and ketchup with their fries, an olive branch offering to ketchup users to calm the waters. Now we, the mustard loving consumers, look to you and will support you in your first step to admitting that you have wronged us and that change is in the air.
 

Sincerely,

Ted Havill and The Undersigned  
(click here to sign the petition!)